I’m always looking for ways to deepen my love and connection with my partner (who is also my husband) mostly because is has great value to me, but also so I can bring the practical value of a working relationship to my clients.
If you are like me, you may have noticed that regardless of how great your relationship it, between kids, dogs, jobs, and running a house, life and love with your partner can get reduced to a series of transactions. Even if they are happy ones, on their best days, they lack a bit of luster; on their worse, you just want to take a nap.
To embrace and manifest life more fully, I use the daily practices of yoga and meditation to tone and expand my nervous system, which comprises, obviously, nerves, but also glands (which have energetic counterparts known as chakras) and the hormones they secrete.
These practices help me to experience a reality that is greater than my limited view of self based solely on my or my ancestors psychological story so that get closer to enlightenment (or lightening up).
A recent addition to my practice roster is Tanta yoga.
Wait, what? That’s the sex yoga, right?
Yes and no. Tanta has been around for thousands of years in many cultures. True, it can be and has been misused to justify sexual abandon and dissipative lifestyles.
But with earnest participant commitment and proper instruction, it is a demanding path that harnesses the one of the most powerful energies we know of—sexual or vital life-force—to heal traumas and propel you to higher states of consciousness.
Tanta has a variety of flavors: white, pink, red, and black. I’m oversimplifying here, but the general distinctions are: white Tanta seeks to transcend the physical realm that by focusing on the upper three chakras; pink Tanta strives to balance the upper and lower chakras by focusing on the heart; red Tanta keeps its focus on the lower three chakras. Black Tanta apparently involves itself in the dark arts and, for the good of the human race, is probably best avoided.
What’s the best way to practice Tanta? The first way is to educate yourself about the practice and its flavors. A couple of good organizations are: 3HO for white Tanta and Ipsalu Tanta International for pink Tanta. Ipsalu has a great book, The Jewel in the Lotus, that gives an elegant overview of pink Tanta, and its exercises and practices.
Here are some tips if you are considering a live workshop:
- Make sure the instructor is qualified and disciplined. Ask their student and teaching history, if they’ve written any content on the subject, and their personal philosophy. Ask also about their personal daily practice.
- Make sure they plan to discuss breath work (especially the Cosmic Cobra Breath), energy transmutation, the chakra and endocrine systems, and the health benefits of Tanta.
- Know that you will likely be uncomfortable at some point, physically, emotionally or spiritually.
- Make sure they offer you a safe space to share your thoughts and feelings with them.
If you don’t see yourself as a live workshop attendee, Ipsalu offers an in-home practicum that can give you a great intro into its philosophy and rituals.
Red, pink, and white Tanta practices provide a good path for partnered householders as it can bring you closer not just on a practical, hormonal level but also a spiritual one.
After attending a recent pink Tanta workshop, my husband and I saw benefits both as a couple and individually. I got a slowdown of incessant, often neurotic thoughts, and a feeling of deeper connection to my mate and to humanity as a whole. My husband reports to feeling lighter, having more energy, and greater life enjoyment.
Ultimately, Tanta is one means to be present on your path to living life fully, learning your lessons, and helping the relationships in your life. When practiced consistently, it can greatly accelerate your ability to be kind, loving, fully embodied and even visionary.
P.S. Yes, it can also be a definite boost to your sex life.
P.S.S. Remember: Tantra is not for the faint of heart. When you start doing the practices, emotional junk will most likely surface. Make sure you are sufficiently grounded in your own life and have a support system in place for when the junk arrives.
